Sunday, April 25, 2010

Popping the Scammed Cherry

Before I downloaded the 14 day trial of EVE, I spent about a week reading about EVE off and on. I checked out the usual sources of online Wiki's, forums, blogs, logs, and comments. I wanted to get it right, to arm myself the best I could before I set out on what I suspected could become a time-consuming adventure.

A few things stuck out at me that I repeated to myself over and over and over, like a mantra.

The first was: "Don't fly what you can't afford to buy".
The second, "Don't trust anyone you can't reach out and punch in the face".

I took these rules to heart. I mean it! I live and breathe in EVE by those two rules above all.

I still refuse to fly my Cruiser, even though I am now training for BCs, because 1) I'm still stuck on L1 missions while I grind out the last .40 worth of faction to get access to an L2 agent, so I'm not necessarily rolling in ISK, and 2) I am just now getting comfortable with my Destroyer and fitting it, and while I'm not rich, I am salvaging enough and mission running enough that the loss of it doesn't hurt me. Hell, it hurts me more to lose my tractor beams than my Thrasher.

Despite all of my caution, and precautions, what it boils down to is that I'm still a sucker. A rube. When someone asks for help, I'm there. When someone asks nicely I just can't help myself. A few weeks ago someone saw my fat cherry ass just waiting to be picked.

Scammer 1: Hey, wanna 1v1?

Me: Nah, no thanks, I'm not setup for it right now, I'm more rigged for
salvaging. (Which at the time was true. I had two small gun turrets and a shit
load of salvagers with a few tractor beams).

Scammer: Aww, I'm still in the Frig testing it out, I just started playing
today. It shouldn't take long.

Me: *inward sigh* - Ok... give me a minute to unload.

I dock, and at least unload the cargo, thinking that this should be over with fairly quickly.

I undock.

I open the yellow can.

BANG! I am ass-raped by webs, warp scramblers, shields, and whatever else this dude has going on. I cannot move. I have him targetted and am in optimal range, yet I do not hit him even once. I am just sitting there taking an ass pounding, dead in the so-called water.

I realize that I am going to lose my ship fairly soon as my shields are finally wearing down...

Scammer: God damn....

Me: Hey, you got me, I need to dock though.

Scammer: Why aren't you fighting back?! Hahaha!

Me: Because I told you the first time I wasn't fit for 1v1, and despite my
targetting you and firing, you damn well know I'm not hitting you.

About the time I hit enter with that reply, there I was, floating along in my peaceful little POD.

Scammer: I thought you were going to dock.

Me: I said I was new, not fucking stupid, why don't you just Pod me and get it over with.

Scammer: Nah, I'm not out to destroy your implants.

Me: *silently grinding my teeth and seething at myself for being a total
fucking idiot*

Now keep in mind, I knew it was a scam when this so-called day 1 player knew more about the game than I did after a few weeks. Sure, the ship was probably one day old, but I made the mistake of associating that with the player.

I wasn't mad that he did it. I was pissed at myself. I was mad that I knew better, had a bad feeling about it, went in unprepared, a dozen of any other excuses I could have thought of, yadda yadda, and did it anyway. How damn dumb do you have to be anyway?

To add insult to injury, I figured while I was spending my 15 minutes in the Station waiting for the aggression timer to tick away, I would grab another ship, fit it up pretty good, go back better prepared, and then salvage my own wreck if not some of my dignity.

This was not to happen either, as the dude was long gone and so was the wreck of my ship -- apparently salvaged on his way out.

Listen, I knew not to do it and did it despite that fact. That's like looking at a small mound of yellow snow and deciding that it can't taste all that bad, even though you know someone's pissed in it.

Note to self: Don't fucking open (eat) the yellow (snow) can!

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